That's it, step forward, don't be shy. I can't say that we've met before - this organization gets bigger all the time. My name is James diGriz, sometimes called Slippery Jim, or even the Stainless Steel Rat, or occasionally Il Titano di Accaio, or Ratinox, or if you haven't heard of me what the blazes are you doing in the Special Corps?!
Excuse me, shouldn't lost my temper with new recruits, heh-heh. Have a drink, I'll join you - what? - you don't drink reconstituted Jovian Lynxbat sweat? What is the Corps coming to...?
Anyway, you're a strapping recruit. Are the recruits getting younger - or am I getting older - DON'T ANSWER THAT! Let us kindly stick with the matter in hand. Which is... I have a note here somewhere, yes, here it is.
Welcome to the Special Corps, oh new recruit. You hold in your hand your first assignment as a Trainee Field Agent, this assignment being cunningly designed as a paperback, role-playing book - which it is not! I cannot stress that fact too firmly. What appears to be paper is really indestructible impervium - don't try to tear a page or it will slice your fingers to ribbons.
You have just failed your first test, oh potential Full Field Agent who is now acting like a dumb recruit. You tore the page, didn't you? From now on you will obey orders instantly without thinking. By reflex. Because you are in the Corps now -
TURN TO NOW!!!